BELLY SHOTS

Headed into Week 11

Not much new to report, and day was a bad day so I would prefer to go to sleep and wake up and try-try-again. I had to pee into a cup and give a huge amount of blood this morning for many routine tests. I really LOATHE needles and not eating when I want to; both of which happened to me this morning. I was winning this week, with only mild feelings of nausea and extreme tiredness, but today was a clear victory for Jungle Baby. Thus, for Jungle Baby's strong finish, s/he earns another point. (And, yes I am calling this week early, for I am getting the idea that Jungle Baby can take competition to a whole new level and I am afraid of what tomorrow may bring.) 

So, Jungle Baby, bask in the glory, you are winning, really winning!

 Jungle Baby     9

Me                   1

Do you see it? 

I really see it, my friends see it, Cesar sees it! 

Don't you see it?

 This is really how you can see it, and even more so when I have a shirt on. At least, that is what we decided after seeing these photos. Today, everyone in town started to touch my belly. I was wearing a normal shirt and it was a little tighter than it was before and my belly was noticeably bigger!

 Strangely, I like when people touch my belly. I didn't think I would and I definitely do not touch pregnant women's bellies, but it makes me smile when people touch me now. So, when I see you next, touch away, but do please at least say "hello" to me while you're at it.

 My hair is another new change: It is getting wavier. I started to notice it over the course of this week, and I like it! I used to long for curly hair (well, I still would love to have boingy curly locks), so if I have to deal with the nausea and tiredness, please Jungle Baby at least give this one!

 Clearly, modeling was not my calling, and thankfully I haven't had to count on my "pretty face" too much in life! Above is my "serious face" and below is my "smile pretty face". I failed miserably at both, so please just focus on the growth of my baby bump, not the face attached.

Tell me, tell me: Donchya Ya Seeeeee It?

Bigger and Better

Yup, Kerri is bigger and better this week.
I am bigger (no joke, I have a belly now!) and better (details on the way about this part).

BIGGER: If I could find my camera, I would take some photos, but we have been moving over the past few days and numerous items are still in transit (or, maybe, missing). Hopefully, it will turn up later today and photos of where we moved and how I am growing will be posted. I find both very cool!

BETTER: It seems as though Jungle Baby has learned that it is alright to lose sometimes.  And, between me and you, I really like this side of Jungle Baby. (Please do not share this with Jungle Baby, for I would like to see just how far I can ride out the sympathy wins!) You see, every great competitor knows that you should lose sometimes. This just fires up your competition to try harder, and then you can squash them even harder the next time. So, if Jungle Baby has a bit of my competitive spirit, I highly approve of the strategy. However, I truly believe that Jungle Baby has some doozies in store for me and that is why I get a point for this week.

JUNGLE BABY: 8
ME: 1

Now, I am not in the clear all day-long. Oh no! I still get overwhelmed by some out-of-this-world bizarre waves of nausea. These waves literally make me shiver and gag and run to the bathroom. But, usually, my very strong desire to not throw up wins and I just shiver some more and exit the bathroom, feeling victorious. Sometimes I do ponder whether or not it would behoove me to vomit a bit, but I absolutely loathe everything connected with food exiting from my mouth. So, I try and try to keep it down.

The only guaranteed defeat is when I brush my teeth. I have read over-and-over again that oral hygiene is crucial during pregnancy, so I am trying hard to take care of my choppers and gums. But, for some reason (and explanations welcomed!), I can't stop the gag reflex during my daily brushes. It is quite the "Catch 22" for me, but I just deal with it. I brush, puke, brush, puke, brush, and run out of the bathroom.

Otherwise, I have quite an appetite now. This is nothing new for me, but everyone around me notices and comments about it. I don't really notice, but it seems that whenever food is in front of me, my interest is piqued and I really want others to share with me. And, who can deny a pregnant lady a bite? I mean come on...

And, I am really tired around 4pm and at 10pm. I can sleep through the night, with ease, but around 4pm, I am more of a zombie than a human. It is strange, for that is the time of the day when I am the busiest and now, the most tired. It is very inconvenient, but I am figuring out ways to deal with it. The most common method is just to close my eyes (regardless of where I am) around 2:30pm. If I can squeeze about 20 minutes of shut-eye in before 4pm creeps up on me, I can at least keep my eyes open and get through my classes. But, as Friday proved, if not, I just really can't keep my eyes open and should be given a doctor's note to excuse me from class.

Ok, so besides the physical things. I am also suffering from some strange physiological struggles as well. I have only voiced these struggles to a few close friends, and their reactions did not suit me. So, share your thoughts (or just tell me that it is fine, that would be great!)...You see, I have read that I should be sad, emotional, confused, forgetful and so on, and I was a bit of that a few weeks ago, but it passed and my sister helped. But, now, I am so emotional about the fact that I am not emotional. I am so upset that I have not had a freak-out moment, that I have not broke down into tears, even that I do not throw up much anymore. Supposedly, these weeks are supposed to be like that, but I am getting better, I am not a raging machine, I even hung out with my friends last night in town, at the bar (and, I rarely did that even before Jungle Baby decided to pitch a tent in my uterus)...Why do I feel so normal? I just want to be sick again and freak out at something or someone. Then, I will fit back into the Weekly Plan in the book I call my "Pregnancy Bible".

(I know, I know. You are not going to say what I want you to say either. I know!)

Upping the Score!

I am giving myself a 0.5 for this week so far! But, maybe, just maybe, I should pay more attention to classic colloquialisms like: do not count your chickens before they hatch...and wow, the irony is thick in that one.

Jungle Baby and I are figuring out this idea of co-habitation day-by-day. I have been eating like a queen, to the point that my friends even notice and chuckle about it (in front of me) and that is just fine with me. For the past couple of days, I have learned that Jungle Baby loves gallo pinto and apples. But, hates ginger ale and the smell of fried chicken. (Ah, just thinking about fried chicken gives me the urge to run to the bathroom.) If there is a problem with eating rice, please, do not tell me. Rice and beans are my saving grace these days, plus, raw ginger.

Here is what I have mastered:
Remember the morning routine discussed before, well it works like a charm. I wake, insert saltines, water and fruit juice and get myself moving. I walk on the beach, usually, and take a lot of deep breaths, stretch a bit and return home. I end my walk before I really want to, just to beat SICK-ALL-THE-TIME before it creeps up on me. So, when I get home, insert more saltines and hopefully an apple or pineapple. Then, I begin to cook an insane amount of gallo pinto. The amount I cook could and should serve about five people, but I am two now. So, I eat appropriately. Those of you who know me well, you know that eating is not a problem for me. In fact, feedings are serious events. Now, just the idea of having two hearts and two stomachs and so on, just fuels the fire. I eat! And, I eat!

It is really funny, how much I eat now. The other night I went out for pizza with my man and Amanda. Typically my man and I share a pizza. Amanda joked, "So, are you going to order your own pizzas now?" And, I hadn't thought about it yet, but yikes! "Yes!", I said and then tried to do the math. Oh No! This was going to be a problem. You see, my man can eat an impressive amount too. And he is suffering his own version of Couvade Syndrome (the male's version of cravings, aches and pregnancy woes) and has developed the ability to consume an even-larger amount of food. (Side Note: He joked about this idea before and then found out that it has some credibility and now uses this newfound "syndrome" to condone the consumption of anything and everything in front of him!) OH NO! How in the world are we going to be able to go out to eat with these new changes? Some day soon, I am going to have to learn how to cook.  Well, some day, let's not rush the changes in my life!

So, instead of two pizzas, we ordered a large salad and one pizza. The fact that I continue to forget is that I get really full, really fast. I am not used to this at all. I usually inhale my incredibly large amount of food and then deal with the ill-after effects. (I once learned that Muhammed Ali ate two large meals when in training and I liked that idea. So, I have followed his dietary lead for years.) But, now the ill-after effects are not worth it. The current effects involve pain in my stomach and typically a visit to the toilet. So, I go slow. I get full. I get frustrated. I take a "to go" bag and wait for  the hunger to return. Then, hit repeat!

So, as I saunter into Week 9, I am feeling better and better. AND, I am getting a belly! I am not making it up. I wore a tight white shirt last night, and I could tell (my mom reminds me that this is all in my head, but she is miles away), my friends could tell, my man could tell. I do not have a waist like I used to, my hips are bigger and I can squeeze a little love handles on the sides.

Photos coming tomorrow!

Still Early

I try not to read too much. It freaks me out. But, I have read that it is still really early. I am now 2 months pregnant (going on 9 weeks) and should wait until the end of the first trimester (12 weeks) until I feel more confident the risk of miscarriage has lifted. But, we visited a great OB/GYN, he is in the Central Valley, quite a-ways-away from the jungle, and heard the heartbeat and were told that everything looks good. Plus, I can't keep a secret to save my life. Furthermore, rumor has it that the sicker the mother, the stronger the baby. So, knowing that myth, I feel quite confident that this baby longs to make it world-wide appearance around December 20, 2011.

I am so sick!
I have officially re-coined the term morning sickness to SICK-ALL-THE-TIME. Please, for future reference, do not refer to this condition as morning anything...it is round-the-clock sickness, at least for me.

My current bout with Sick-All-The-Time:
I wake up and have a strong desire to brush my teeth. I do so, and throw up. The first morning vomit is minimal, for my stomach is empty. So, think more gagging sounds, not so much coming up.

Then, the vicious game begins. I eat some saltines and fruit. I drink some juice and water. I wait. I sit up. I walk in circles around the house. I wait. For, I usually know that it will come back up. If not, I don't count my blessings yet, but I try to go outside, walk to town, see friends at work, something out of the house. After about one hour, and if the saltines and fruit stay down, I eat some rice and beans (gallo pinto) with eggs. And then, I plan an excursion.

This is what worked well yesterday:
I did the above routine and it all stayed down. I hiked to the local surf beach and swam. My stomach was a bit empty when I arrived, but I had more saltines and water with me. After a little swim, I ate more saltines. A success. I walked back to my house and now was starving. OH NO! Starving is bad and starving strikes me about four times a day now. I am a great eater and very active, but I now get starving, like after one runs a marathon, S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G! Despite the daily grazing of saltines and fruit plus ample amounts of gallo pinto, the starving feeling still strikes at random. When I get to this point of rumble-in-the-tummy-I-must-eat-now, it is all bad. I want to eat so much, so fast. But, I can't. If I eat too fast, I get sick. If I wait too long, I get sick. If I start to eat and smell something weird, I get sick.

Let me explain: When I say, "I get sick", I don't really vomit every time. I do go to the bathroom and think I will vomit. But, usually I just gag and can control it. But, strangely I wish I would vomit. If I were to vomit there would be a brief reprieve and I would have a few moments free from Sick-All-The-Time. My mind makes me stop gagging and walk out of the bathroom and I go back to square one.

Sit down. Plate of food in front of me. Deep breath. Insert food to mouth. Deep breath. Chew slowly. Chew more. Shallow. Deep breath. Smile. Repeat. (I honestly say this mantra to myself.)

But, I feel full fast. Really fast. I stop (or more commonly now, my man reminds me to slow down and not eat too much, for he has witnessed the ill after-effects), I wait, and then, usually, without control, I fall asleep. Yup, I literally fall asleep. I may be mid-conversation. I may need to work. I may just need to be awake and I can't. Like someone slipped me a really strong sedative. I am out!

Nausea, vomiting, extreme tiredness, headaches, slight dizziness sometimes =
Jungle Baby 8
Me              0

My scores above are who wins each week. I am extremely competitive and do not like to lose. So, Jungle Baby and I are competing week-by-week. And, Jungle Baby, just so you know, I plan on winning by the end. We have 40 weeks together during this competition, as known as pregnancy, and I plan on raising my score as soon as possible.

Side Note to Jungle Baby: You do not want to win this one. I promise, I will let you win later on in life, but please, just give me this one. 


So, I said earlier that I try not to read. But, that is a lie. (Well, I try not to, but I do it every night.)

Here is the good and bad of what I know to expect.

Week 9:
The heart has four chambers. All major organs are in place. The fetus can respond to touch, but I can't feel it yet. The eyes and legs are forming now. The hands are like "paddles" and form faster than the feet. And, I should turn into an emotional wreck. Plus, this week is when my hormones are at their peak and my body has yet to get all systems of checks and balances in order. So, I should feel my worse. With all the sarcasm in the world, "That is just great!" It looks like Jungle Baby may up his score during Week 9.

Here I am, 2 months pregnant. I don't feel the same, but I look the same. My boobs hurt, a lot really, but I don't see any changes. And, the world is really excited for the fact that I might get some boobs now. (But, knowing me, I will be the only pregnant woman who stays completely un-endowed.)

 This is my favorite photo (below). I am trying to make a belly here. I feel like there is quite a change in my belly, for underneath my belly button is really hard. Not strong abs hard, but more like yucky, bloated hard.

Unfortunately, I just feel it and nobody can see any changes.

Normal belly shot:

Let's see what happens!















Even though I have been sternly told that I must not do so (by many loved ones), I like to refer to Jungle Baby as an alien. It is quite alien to me that there is a baby forming inside me. It is quite alien to me that someone plans on calling me mom for the rest of my life. My baby looks like an alien now. And, there is nothing wrong with aliens. Between you and me, this alien living inside me has the upper-hand already, and I am becoming more-and-more in awe of its super powers. I will never refer to Jungle Baby as "alien" again (except maybe in my head), I promise.

The name Jungle Baby works just as well.

POSITIVE

This is serious news!

I, honestly, have no idea what else to do but to write about it. Mom is scared, really scared but growing excited about it. Dad said he has been waiting my whole life for it. Megan said, "I seriously never thought you would say that." Scott is nervous about practicalities and Erica is just happy. Jaime told me she was so excited to read my words about it. My man is super excited about it. And, back to me, I just don't know what to do with myself.

But, it is true. I am going to have a Jungle Baby.

I know she didn't mean for it to bother me, and really it didn't, but, that was one of the first questions she asked me. "Are you going to have the baby in the jungle?" I know it all bothers her, and I accept that. My mom. I accept her and she accepts me, but really she is the biggest problem I have with this whole situation.

You see, I am pregnant and I live in Costa Rica. I will continue to live here (the jungle, according to Mom) during my pregnancy and so will Jungle Baby.  Life is great here: socialized medicine, fresh food, low cost of living, happy people, clean air, great surfing and more. All of these are enough for me, but, you see, I don't have a normal Mom, I have a Super Mom. Super Mom's kids don't move and spend their lives in the jungle, they don't get pregnant before they get married, they don't believe a house can be in a tree. Super Mom's kids do the exact opposite of what I do.

Despite our differences in logic, Super Mom does love me unconditionally, support me to the end and truly is responsible for my irresponsibility. I decided and vocalized many times throughout my life that I wouldn't have kids. I am an international educator and have devoted my life to helping kids get the education they deserve, when they don't get it. I have seen too many children forced to live without basics and it weighs heavily on my heart and mind. So, I was always going to help all those kids that already exist and not make more. About four years ago, in order to throw a curve ball yet again into Super Mom's life,  I sat her down and told her that I was giving up the "perfect, predictable" life I had formed and was running away to Costa Rica.

Despite where I live and the challenges it may bring, my Mom also set the bar way too high. She is Super Mom and I am not super anything. She has three kids, one daughter-in-law, a husband, two grandkids (well, almost two, Kaya is due any day now), five siblings, and numerous nieces and nephews. Somehow for all these years she has only taken care of all of us. She doesn't take care of herself and she wouldn't be selfish if her life depended on it.

I mean, she is the Mom who worked three jobs, never missed a track meet, swim meet, hockey game (in fact, never even forgot to bring the orange Gatorade, Twizzlers and orange slices, show up on time, help me stretch, talk me through the competition, do the same for my sister, and hit repeat, repeat, repeat), cook dinner, make us lunches with love notes, run us around town for  all the "things-that-high-schoolers-do-before-they-can-drive", help me through bad decisions and guide me to good ones, and I don't even know what else she did when I was out in the world being a girl who hid her life from Super Mom all those years. I decided, early on, that I was never going to be that good at being a Mom, so, I wasn't going to have kids.

And, I am scared to death of pain.

But, I met a great guy almost four years ago and lots of things that once seemed so concrete to me changed. He is Costa Rican and we have made a wonderful life together in the jungle. He wants kids and I want him. But, I am so selfish. I had plans and places to go and things to accomplish and I hate pain. But, recently we started talking a lot about growing old and I am so selfish, I want someone to want and need me when I am old. So, after years together,  I went off the pill and felt twinges of excitement. "If we had a baby..." conversations started to happen and it made me feel twinges inside.

Did I want to have a baby?

Well, that question was answered at the end of the first pill-free month. YES!
On Saturday, April 30th, I took a pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE.
(I really expected a long readjustment time from years of being on the pill, but as I should have known...nothing works out how I plan.)

I vomited for about 15 minutes, and immediately called my sister!